You know what I hate? When people get pissed off when you tell them you don’t want them to touch you. Like excuse me, I don’t actually want you to touch my arm. I don’t want a hug right now. I don’t give a shit if you’re family. I don’t care if the phrase “I don’t want to be touched” puts you off. Just don’t fucking touch me.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
The worst part about being there for everybody is that no one ever bothers to ask if you’re okay or not